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		<title>Windows Keyboard Shortcuts</title>
		<link>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/windows-keyboard-shortcuts/</link>
		<comments>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/windows-keyboard-shortcuts/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:28:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>desayrable</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Computers and You]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[keyboard shortcuts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shortcut keys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[windows shortcut keys]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://desayrable.wordpress.com/?p=16</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[General Keyboard Shortcuts:
• CTRL+C (Copy)
• CTRL+X (Cut)
• CTRL+V (Paste)
• CTRL+Z (Undo)
• DELETE (Delete)
• SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing
the item in the Recycle Bin)
• CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
• CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the
selected item)
• F2 key (Rename the selected item)
• CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=desayrable.wordpress.com&blog=3884248&post=16&subd=desayrable&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>General Keyboard Shortcuts:</p>
<p>• CTRL+C (Copy)<br />
• CTRL+X (Cut)<br />
• CTRL+V (Paste)<br />
• CTRL+Z (Undo)<br />
• DELETE (Delete)<br />
• SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing<br />
the item in the Recycle Bin)<br />
• CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)<br />
• CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the<br />
selected item)<br />
• F2 key (Rename the selected item)<br />
• CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the<br />
next word)<br />
• CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the<br />
previous word)<br />
• CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the<br />
next paragraph)<br />
• CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the<br />
previous paragraph)<br />
• CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)<br />
• SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a<br />
window or on the desktop, or select text in a document)<br />
• CTRL+A (Select all)<br />
• F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)<br />
• ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)<br />
• ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)<br />
• ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)<br />
• ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)<br />
• CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to<br />
have multiple documents open simultaneously)<br />
• ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)<br />
• ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been<br />
opened)<br />
• F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the<br />
desktop)<br />
• F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows<br />
Explorer)<br />
• SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)<br />
• ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)<br />
• CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)<br />
• ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding<br />
menu)<br />
• Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the<br />
corresponding command)<br />
• F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)<br />
• RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)<br />
• LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)<br />
• F5 key (Update the active window)<br />
• BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows<br />
Explorer)<br />
• ESC (Cancel the current task)<br />
• SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the<br />
CD-ROM from automatically playing)</p>
<p>Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts:</p>
<p>If you press SHIFT+F8 in extended selection list boxes, you enable<br />
extended selection mode. In this mode, you can use an arrow key to<br />
move a cursor without changing the selection. You can press<br />
CTRL+SPACEBAR or SHIFT+SPACEBAR to adjust the selection. To cancel<br />
extended selection mode, press SHIFT+F8 again. Extended selection<br />
mode cancels itself when you move the focus to another control.</p>
<p>• CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)<br />
• CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)<br />
• TAB (Move forward through the options)<br />
• SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)<br />
• ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select<br />
the corresponding option)<br />
• ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)<br />
• SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a<br />
check box)<br />
• Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of<br />
option buttons)<br />
• F1 key (Display Help)<br />
• F4 key (Display the items in the active list)<br />
• BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in<br />
the Save As or Open dialog box)</p>
<p><span class="yshortcuts">Microsoft</span> Natural Keyboard Shortcuts:</p>
<p>• Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)<br />
• Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)<br />
• Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)<br />
• Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)<br />
• Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)<br />
• Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)<br />
• Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)<br />
• CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)<br />
• Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)<br />
• Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)<br />
• Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)<br />
• Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)</p>
<p>Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts:</p>
<p>• Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch FilterKeys either on or off)<br />
• Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on<br />
or off)<br />
• Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or<br />
off)<br />
• SHIFT five times (Switch the StickyKeys either on or off)<br />
• NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the ToggleKeys either on or off)<br />
• Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)</p>
<p>Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts:</p>
<p>• END (Display the bottom of the active window)<br />
• HOME (Display the top of the active window)<br />
• NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are<br />
under the selected folder)<br />
• NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected<br />
folder)<br />
• NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)<br />
• LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or<br />
select the parent folder)<br />
• RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or<br />
select the first subfolder)</p>
<p>Shortcut Keys for Character Map:</p>
<p>After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you<br />
can move through the grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:</p>
<p>• RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next<br />
line)<br />
• LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)<br />
• UP ARROW (Move up one row)<br />
• DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)<br />
• PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)<br />
• PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)<br />
• HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)<br />
• END (Move to the end of the line)<br />
• CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)<br />
• CTRL+END (Move to the last character)<br />
• SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character<br />
is selected)</p>
<p>Microsoft Management Console (MMC) Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts:</p>
<p>• CTRL+O (Open a saved console)<br />
• CTRL+N (Open a new console)<br />
• CTRL+S (Save the open console)<br />
• CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)<br />
• CTRL+W (Open a new window)<br />
• F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)<br />
• ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)<br />
• ALT+F4 (Close the console)<br />
• ALT+A (Display the Action menu)<br />
• ALT+V (Display the View menu)<br />
• ALT+F (Display the File menu)<br />
• ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)</p>
<p>MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts:</p>
<p>• CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)<br />
• ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console<br />
window)<br />
• SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)<br />
• F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)<br />
• F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)<br />
• CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)<br />
• CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)<br />
• ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the<br />
selected item)<br />
• F2 key (Rename the selected item)<br />
• CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only<br />
one console window, this shortcut closes the console)</p>
<p>Remote Desktop Connection Navigation:</p>
<p>• CTRL+ALT+END (Open the Microsoft Windows NT Security dialog box)<br />
• ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)<br />
• ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)<br />
• ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used<br />
order)<br />
• ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)<br />
• CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a<br />
full screen)<br />
• ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)<br />
• CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the entire client<br />
window area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same<br />
functionality as pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)<br />
• CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the active window in<br />
the client on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same<br />
functionality as pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer).</p>
<p><span class="yshortcuts">Microsoft</span> Internet Explorer Navigation:</p>
<p>• CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)<br />
• CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)<br />
• CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)<br />
• CTRL+H (Open the History bar)<br />
• CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)<br />
• CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)<br />
• CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web<br />
address)<br />
• CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)<br />
• CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)<br />
• CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)<br />
• CTRL+W (Close the current window)</p>
<p>Other Information:</p>
<p>• Some keyboard shortcuts may not work if StickyKeys is turned on in<br />
Accessibility Options.<br />
• Some of the Terminal Services client shortcuts that are similar to<br />
the shortcuts in Remote Desktop Sharing are not available when you<br />
use Remote Assistance in Windows XP Home Edition.</p>
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			<media:title type="html">desayrable</media:title>
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	</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to stay young</title>
		<link>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/how-to-stay-young/</link>
		<comments>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/how-to-stay-young/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:05:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>desayrable</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[A Better You]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to stay young]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stay young]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[young]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://desayrable.wordpress.com/?p=14</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Its really sort of simple:

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;) 

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=desayrable.wordpress.com&blog=3884248&post=14&subd=desayrable&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p><span style="font-family:Tahoma;font-size:x-small;">Its really sort of simple:<br />
</span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.<br />
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.</p>
<p>2. Keep only cheerful friends.<br />
The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;) </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">3. Keep learning:<br />
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,<br />
whatever. Never let the brain get idle.</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Arial;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">&#8220;An idle mind is the devil&#8217;s workshop.&#8221;</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Arial;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">And the devil&#8217;s name is Alzheimer&#8217;s!</p>
<p>4. Enjoy the simple things. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.<br />
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">6. The tears happen:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Arial;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.</p>
<p>7. Surround yourself with what you love:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Arial;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">Whether it&#8217;s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.<br />
Your home is your refuge. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">8. Cherish your health:</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Arial;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">If it is good, preserve it.</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:x-small;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Arial;"> </span></span><span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">If it is unstable, improve it.<br />
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.</p>
<p>9. Don&#8217;t take guilt trips.<br />
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family:Tahoma;"><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;"><br />
<span style="font-size:x-small;">10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. </span></span></span></p>
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		<item>
		<title>The Daffodil Principle</title>
		<link>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/the-daffodil-principle/</link>
		<comments>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/the-daffodil-principle/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:02:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>desayrable</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[A Better You]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[daffodil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hardworking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lesson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life-changing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[not tomorrow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[principle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stop waiting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[today]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://desayrable.wordpress.com/?p=12</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=desayrable.wordpress.com&blog=3884248&post=12&subd=desayrable&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p><span style="font-size:x-small;">It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.</p>
<p>&#8220;Who did this?&#8221; I asked Carolyn.  &#8221;Just one woman,&#8221; Carolyn answered. &#8220;She lives on the property. That&#8217;s her home.&#8221; Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.</p>
<p>On the patio, we saw a poster. &#8220;Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking&#8221;, was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. &#8220;50,000 bulbs,&#8221; it read. The second answer was, &#8220;One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one br ain.&#8221; The third answer was, &#8220;Began in 1958.&#8221;</p>
<p>For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the<br />
greatest principles of celebration. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:x-small;">That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time&#8211;often just one baby-step at time&#8211;and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world &#8230;</p>
<p>&#8220;It makes me sad in a way,&#8221; I admitted to Carolyn. &#8220;What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it &#8216;one bulb at a time&#8217; through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!&#8221;</p>
<p>My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. &#8220;Start tomorrow,&#8221; she said.</p>
<p>She was right. It&#8217;s so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, &#8220;How can I put this to use today?&#8221; </span></p>
<p>Stop waiting&#8230;</p>
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		<title>DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK</title>
		<link>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/don%e2%80%99t-be-afraid-to-ask/</link>
		<comments>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/don%e2%80%99t-be-afraid-to-ask/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:58:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>desayrable</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[A Better You]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[afraid to ask]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Bo Sanchez. 
“Ask, and it will be given to you.” – Matthew 7:7
Do you want french fries with that?
Pretty simple question.
But because of that one single line, a burger chain adds $20 million to its annual profits each year. From one tiny question!
And if you order a Coke, the girl behind the counter has been trained [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=desayrable.wordpress.com&blog=3884248&post=11&subd=desayrable&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p align="justify"><span style="font-family:Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-small;"><em>Bo Sanchez.</em> </span></span></p>
<p align="justify"><span style="font-family:Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-small;"><em>“Ask, and it will be given to you.” – Matthew 7:7</em></p>
<p><em>Do you want french fries with that?</em><br />
Pretty simple question.<br />
But because of that one single line, a burger chain adds $20 million to its annual profits each year. From one tiny question!<br />
And if you order a Coke, the girl behind the counter has been trained to ask, “Large?”<br />
Again, that second question adds millions and millions to their bott om line.<br />
Don’t be afraid to ask.<br />
Unless you learn to ask, you will never be successful in life.<br />
Ask for advice. Ask for a date. Ask for a referral. Ask for a sale.<br />
Salesmen know that if they ask 100 people to buy their product, only 10 say yes. Others get discouraged and look for another job. Top salesmen are energized and ask 1000 people—so 100 people will buy.<br />
Because I run non-profit organizations that spend millions for the poor and the work of evangelization, I’ve learned to ask. That’s why the Kerygma Family which supports our work has expanded all over the world. (If you haven’t joined, please do so: Log onto </span><a href="http://www.kerygmafamily.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-size:x-small;"><span style="text-decoration:underline;">www.kerygmafamily.com</span></span></a><span style="font-size:x-small;">. See, I’m asking again!)<br />
Don’t be afraid to ask. </span></span></p>
<p align="justify"><span style="font-family:Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:x-small;"><strong>REFLECTION:</strong><br />
Make a list of what you want in life. Start asking!</p>
<p><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Lord, You’ve never stopped asking me to change my life. Thank You that You never give up on asking!</span> </em></span></span></span></p>
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		<title>How to Accept Criticism with Grace and Appreciation</title>
		<link>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/how-to-accept-criticism/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:33:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>desayrable</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[A Better You]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[accept criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[accept criticism with appreciation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[accept with grace]]></category>

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Every day, I get emails and comments that are amazingly positive and encouraging, and in truth these messages are the very thing that sustains my blogging. However, I also get negative comments now and then: criticism of my writing, and not nice criticism either.
How do you deal with criticism? I think the first reaction for [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=desayrable.wordpress.com&blog=3884248&post=7&subd=desayrable&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Every day, I get emails and comments that are amazingly positive and encouraging, and in truth these messages are the very thing that sustains my blogging. However, I also get negative comments now and then: criticism of my writing, and not nice criticism either.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">How do you deal with criticism? I think the first reaction for most of us is to defend ourselves, or worse yet to lash back.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And yet, while criticism can be taken as hurtful and demoralizing, it can also be viewed in a positive way: it is honesty, and it can spur us to do better. It’s an opportunity to improve.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Recently, I ran an “Ask the Readers” post asking for suggestions for improvement, after receiving a few critical emails and comments. I responded to one of the critics with a “thank you” and asked him to comment in the Ask the Readers thread.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The reader emailed me back, and here was his response:</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">After sending my email, I felt I might have been a little harsh. But now, after reading your response, I think you would have the perfect qualities to write an article or two about taking criticism with grace and appreciation.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I really liked that thought, so here is that post he suggested: how to take criticism with grace and appreciation.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Stop Your First Reaction</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">If your first reaction is to lash back at the person giving the criticism, or to become defensive, take a minute before reacting at all. Take a deep breath, and give it a little thought.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Personally, I tend to get a little angry when I’m criticized. But I have also taught myself not to react right away. For example, I’ll let a critical email sit in my inbox for at least an hour before replying. Or I’ll walk away from someone instead of saying something I’ll regret later.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That cooling off time allows me to give it a little more thought beyond my initial reaction. It allows logic to step in, past the emotion. I don’t have anything against emotion, but when it’s a negative emotion, sometimes it can cause more harm than good. So I let my emotions run their course, and then respond when I’m calmer.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Turn a Negative Into a Positive</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">One of the keys to my success in anything I do is my ability to find positive things in things that most people see as a negative. Sickness forces me to stop my exercise program? That’s a welcome rest. Tired of my job? That’s a time to rediscover what’s important and to look for a better job. Supertyphoon ruined all my possessions? This allowed me to realize that my stuff wasn’t important, and to be thankful that my loved ones were still alive and safe.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">You can do the same thing with criticism: find the positive in it. Sure, it may be rude and mean, but in most criticism, you can find a nugget of gold: honest feedback and a suggestion for improvement.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">For example, this criticism: “You write about the same things over and over and your posts are boring and stale.”</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Can be read: “I need to increase the variety of my posts and find new ways of looking at old things.”</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That’s just one example of course — you can do that with just about any criticism. Sometimes it’s just someone having a bad day, but many times there’s at least a grain of truth in the criticism.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">See it as an opportunity to improve — and without that constant improvement, we are just sitting still. Improvement is a good thing.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Thank the Critic</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Even if someone is harsh and rude, thank them. They might have been having a bad day, or maybe they’re just a negative person in general. But even so, your attitude of gratitude will probably catch them off-guard.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And you know what? My habit of thanking my critics has actually won a few of them over. They became friends of mine, and eventually a couple of them became some of my biggest proponents. All because of a simple act of saying thank you for the criticism. It’s unexpected, and often appreciated.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And even if the critic doesn’t take your “thank you” in a good way, it’s still good to do — for yourself. It’s a way of reminding yourself that the criticism was a good thing for you, a way of keeping yourself humble.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Learn from the Criticism</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">After seeing criticism in a positive light, and thanking the critic, don’t just move on and go back to business as usual. Actually try to improve.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That’s a difficult concept for some people, because they often think that they’re right no matter what. But no one is always right. You, in fact, may be wrong, and the critic may be right. So see if there’s something you can change to make yourself better.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And then make that change. Actually strive to do better.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">When I received criticism that my posts weren’t as good as they could be, I strove to improve. I tried hard to write better posts. Now, did I actually accomplish that? That’s a matter of opinion — some will say no, while others seemed to enjoy the posts. Personally, I’ve been rather proud of some of these posts, and I’m glad I made the extra effort.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Be the Better Person</span></strong></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Too many times we take criticism as a personal attack, as an insult to who we are. But it’s not. Well, perhaps sometimes it is, but we don’t have to take it that way. Take it as a criticism of your actions, not your person. If you do that, you can detach yourself from the criticism emotionally and see what should be done.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">But the way that many of us handle the criticisms that we see as personal attacks is by attacking back. “I’m not going to let someone talk to me that way.” Especially if this criticism is made in public, such as in the comments of a blog. You have to defend yourself, and attack the attacker … right?</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Wrong. By attacking the attacker, you are stooping to his level. Even if the person was mean or rude, you don’t have to be the same way. You don’t have to commit the same sins.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Be the better person.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">If you can rise above the petty insults and attacks, and respond in a calm and positive manner to the meat of the criticism, you will be the better person. And guess what? There are two amazing benefits of this:</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Others will admire you and think better of you for rising above the attack. Especially if you remain positive and actually take the criticism well. This has happened to me, when people actually complimented me on how I handled attacking comments.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">You will feel better about yourself. By participating in personal attacks, we dirty ourselves. But if we can stay above that level, we feel good about who we are. And that’s the most important benefit of all.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">How do you stay above the attacks and be the better person? By removing yourself from the criticism, and looking only at the actions criticized. By seeing the positive in the criticism, and trying to improve. By thanking the critic. And by responding with a positive attitude.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">A quick example: Someone criticizes one of my posts by saying, “You’re an idiot. I don’t understand what x has to do with y.”</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">My typical response will be to first, ignore the first sentence. And second, to say something like, “Thanks for giving me an opportunity to clarify that. I don’t think I made it as clear as I should have. What x has to do with y is … blah blah. Thanks for the great question!”</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:small;">And by ignoring the insult, taking it as an opportunity to clarify, thanking the critic, using the opportunity to explain my point further, and staying positive, I have accepted the criticism with grace and appreciation. And in doing so, remained the better person, and felt great about myself.</span></span></p>
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		<title>How to Take a Compliment</title>
		<link>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/how-to-take-a-compliment/</link>
		<comments>http://desayrable.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/how-to-take-a-compliment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:19:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>desayrable</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[A Better You]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compliment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[receive a compliment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[take a compliment]]></category>

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Author: Dustin Wax
 
A surprisingly large number of people do not know how to take a compliment. There’s something in our mind-set that says we cannot possibly deserve positive feedback and therefore anyone who pays us a compliment must be either lying, misguided, or feeling sorry for us. This is that little extra-critical voice in [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=desayrable.wordpress.com&blog=3884248&post=3&subd=desayrable&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><em><span style="font-size:10pt;color:black;font-family:'Trebuchet MS';">Author: Dustin Wax</span></em></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:0;"><em><span style="font-size:10pt;color:black;font-family:'Trebuchet MS';"> </span></em></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">A surprisingly large number of people do not know how to take a compliment. There’s something in our mind-set that says we cannot possibly deserve positive feedback and therefore anyone who pays us a compliment must be either lying, misguided, or feeling sorry for us. This is that little extra-critical voice in our heads, externalized and projected onto others; as if it weren’t enough that we undermine ourselves, we force others to undermine us too.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"> </span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Think of the good we might do ourselves by easily accepting every compliment that’s offered us, even if we’re not entirely sure the person complimenting us is totally earnest. Instead of undermining our self-confidence, we would feed it. Instead of denigrating our achievements, we would promote them. And instead of tearing down relationships, we would strengthen them. A compliment is, after all, a kind of gift, and turning down a gift insults the person giving it, suggesting that you don’t value them as highly as they value (soon to be “valued”) you.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Alas, diminishing the impact of compliments is a pretty strong reflex for many of us. How can we undo what years of habitual practice has made almost unconscious? Here’s a list of some of the ways we sabotage compliments, followed by some pointers to help get you in the right mind-set to embrace the compliments you’re paid.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Stop doing this:</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Putting yourself down:</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> One reaction to compliments is to say “I don’t deserve it” and list reasons why. Stop doing that. </span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Assuming the other person doesn’t <em>really</em> mean it:</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> You may be right, sometimes, but it doesn’t matter. Responding as if they did disarms whatever ulterior motive they might have. On the other hand, acting as if they didn’t mean it when they <em>did</em> is insulting and makes you come off as either a jerk or a basket case. Stop doing it.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Pointing out your weaknesses:</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> A compliment isn’t about your weaknesses, it’s about your strengths. There’s plenty of time to focus on improving faults later; for now, bask in the recognition of what <em>doesn’t</em> need fixing.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Deflecting compliments to others:</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> We often respond to the embarrassment of being singled out for praise by deflecting it to others. Others may be deserving, but so are you.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Claiming it was all “luck”:</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> Another way of deflecting embarrassing attention from yourself, with the added bonus of freeing you from responsibility for not only your successes but your failures. </span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Making them work for it:</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> Cut the long stream of “no, it was nothings” and “I just did what I had to dos” and let people give you the compliment. Putting it off until they’ve given it three or four times, each time more insistently, is selfish.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="color:black;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">And start doing this instead:</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Own your accomplishments:</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> It wasn’t luck or the goodwill of others or any other reason that you managed to do something praiseworthy, it was your own effort and commitement. Even if you truly were just in the right place at the right time, you deserve credit for recognizing an opportunity and acting on it. If you wouldn’t dream of not taking responsibility for your failures, then step up and take responsibility for your achievements.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Be appreciative:</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> As I said, a compliment is a gift. You wouldn’t put down or reject a gift from a friend; treat compliments the same way. </span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Be honest and optimistic about the future.</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> Not pointing out your weaknesses doesn’t mean you can’t be honest about what lays ahead. But a simple “We still have to do <em>x</em>, <em>y</em>, and <em>z</em> but it’s good to see we’re on the right track” will suffice. Don’t make someone waste their effort paying a compliment by telling them how the thing they’re praising is probably doomed to fail in the long run.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Recognize your contribution.</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> You may not be the only one who deserves to be complimented on a job well-done, and it’s fine to say so, but remember that you’re a part of your group’s success, too. Don’t say “Well, Hassan and LaShawna deserve all the credit”; instead say “Thanks, I’m sure Hassan and LaShawna will appreciate hearing that, too.”</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Follow up.</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> If applicable, offer to involve the person giving you a compliment in your success. “Thanks, Maria. I wonder if you’d like to help us out by offering some feedback on…”</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:-0.25in;line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0 6pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="color:black;">Be gracious.</span></strong><span style="color:black;"> Giving a compliment isn’t always easy. When someone does offer you one, accept it easily and gracefully. Pay one back, if merited. Let people know that you appreciate themfor appreciating you.</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;"><span style="font-size:small;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><strong><em><span style="color:black;">You don’t have to be a cocky, arrogant, son-of-a-you-know-what to take a compliment well (but it helps — kidding!) just a reasonably well-balanced, self-assured person.</span></em></strong><span style="color:black;"> The good news is that mastering the art of receiving compliments helps <em>make you</em> into a more well-balanced, self-assured person — which, in turn, will earn you more compliments. Let the warm fuzzies begin!</span></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:12pt;margin:6pt 0;">
<p><span style="font-size:12pt;color:black;font-family:'Times New Roman';">Special Bonus Tip: Something nice that someone says about you is a “compliment”; something that goes nicely with something else “complements” it. A compliment makes you feel good, as in “<em>I</em> feel good now.</span></div>
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